Ahhhhh!

Well, it's official. I'm engaged! We're setting the date for summer/fall of 2012, which gives me tons of time to plan (and freak out). This totally gives me a goal to work towards in terms of weight loss! Since we're having the wedding in Chicago and live in Dallas, it's going to be quite a bit of work getting everything done during trips up there. My new goal is to have my 20lbs. long gone by July so I can go dress shopping with my friends and my mom. I'd rather not deal with a nightmare of an alteration closer to the date, so this weight needs to be gone now! I'm kicking it into high gear for the next few months. I totally failed the second day when I overslept for the gym, but I can get back on track tomorrow!

2010 in Review

It's almost the new year! I can't believe how many changes this year has brought! I started out with the simple goal of losing weight. Yeah, yeah. I've been saying that for the last 4 years. Something was different this time though. Something made me stick to it. I'm not quite sure what that was. Was it the fact that I cried when I saw photos of myself? Or the time I broke down when my boyfriend made fun of my stretch marks (he didn't think it would upset me...stupid boy!)? Or was it the time I got winded walking up the stairs to the apartment gym? Regardless of what finally motivated me, it probably saved me. Last year I was 215 lbs. around this time. I lost about 13 before I started this blog simply from riding a bike 3 times a week. Today, I weighed in at 165. I ran two and a half miles without stopping and have never felt better. I almost burst into tears when I saw the scale. I've been stuck at 168 for so long due to poor eating choices and exhaustion from working double shifts and drinking too much beer. Last week, I decided to cut it out and get back on track. I'm in the best shape of my life and I'm still chubby. I can EASILY lose the next 20 pounds if I put my mind to it!

So here are my goals for next year:

• Run an entire 5k without walking at all (I walked for 4 minutes in the one I did)
• Complete the 5k to 10k training program
• Run a half marathon
• Lose my last 20 pounds
• Fit into a size 8
• Develop some sort of self esteem (when it comes to looks...I'm totally awesome otherwise)
  
• Wear a bikini (without causing people to run screaming)
• Have something resembling abs

Mood: proud
Weight: 165

I did it!!!!

So, my friend Diana has been working on losing weight and getting fit since about the same time I started and she is SO much more awesome than I. She didn't really need to lose any weight in the first place, but she has gotten in great shape! She started the Couch to 5K program much earlier in the year and has been encouraging me since I started.

I casually mentioned that we should run a 5k sometime...meaning like, next year. I certainly can't run 3 miles unless a hungry pitbull is chasing me with raw meat strapped to my ass. She, on the other hand, wanted to run a race that Saturday. She promised me she would stay with me and walk however much of it I needed to.

We got there around 7am to register and hung out for a bit. A lot of the runners were pretty competitive looking and I was slightly terrified. There were a lot of walkers though, so I felt good about at least attempting to run some of it.

We started running at 9. Diana's boyfriend took off ahead of us and ran the whole thing like a pro. I started running around people and moving my way to the middle of the crowd. I passed the first mile marker at 12 minutes. Then I did a double take and had to make sure I just ran a whole mile without stopping. I have NEVER done that in my life. I was disqualified with an F in gym class in high school by walking the mile and refusing to push myself to run. After that, I felt content to walk for a few minutes since my shoulder was starting to ache a little. We walked at a fast pace until I decided I had enough and wanted to run again! We ran the next half mile, stopped for 30 seconds or so to walk and took off again, stopping only when I ran through a puddle and my shoes got slippery and I had to stop so I didn't fall and for about 15 seconds to walk to the final corner before sprinting to the finish line. Altogether, I ran about 2 and 3/4 miles out of 3.1. I am SO PROUD of myself. I finished at 38 minutes and 45 seconds with Diana right behind me (she didn't sprint to the finish) at 39 minutes. I'm so proud of us!

We left before the medals (which is a good thing, saving me unnecessary embarrassment) since we knew none of us placed. She sent me a text yesterday saying that "Jerry" with my last name won the female 20-29 age group. I thought she was joking. I checked tonight and in fact, my name is now Jerry and I supposedly ran a 24 minute 5k. In my dreams. I feel awful that something got messed up and I took a medal from someone (even though I wasn't there to take it). I've already e-mailed them to let them know it's wrong, but part of me wishes it was true!

However, I've already set my goal to become a runner. Diana and her boyfriend and I are going to run more 5ks (about one a month) and work at running a half marathon next year! I'm hooked on something I NEVER thought would have any appeal to me. Maybe next year I actually WILL come in first in my age group!

Mood: so excited
Weight: actually...I don't know. Weigh in tomorrow.

Life Changes

It's been about a year since I first started working out (I didn't go hardcore until January, but I started walking and biking at my apartment gym last November). I can't believe how much better I look and feel! I almost have something resembling confidence (let's not get carried away here) and I can walk up stairs without getting winded.

Today I finished Week 3 Day 1 of the Couch to 5K Running Program. I had tried several times to get past week 2 and was never able to! I can't believe how easy today seemed in comparison to my previous running attempts. I had this vision of myself crossing the finish line of a marathon and it just inspired me to keep going! It's totally cheesy but it worked. I can't wait to be able to call myself a runner (Who the hell is typing this? Certainly not me).

I also got two new apps for my phone. One is ExerTime, which times cardio and has a loadable C25K timer which yells at me when it's time to run or walk. It's awesome. The other is MyFitnessPal, which is a calorie counter. It's helped me get past my two month plateau and lose another pound. I also can see how bad my weekend drinking is impacting my weight loss. No wonder it's going so slow when I down beer on the weekend!

Mood: excited
Weight: 168

Comparisons!

Here's a shot from me in August of 2009 compared with me two weeks ago in September of 2010. I imagine the net weight loss is about 40-50lbs. since I first set foot on a scale after 3 months of working out. I was squeezed into my size 16s in the first pic, the second is my too big pair of 11/12s. :) It kind of puts things in perspective! I still have a lot of work to do, but I love seeing how far I've come!

24 lbs that don't feel like going anywhere...

Well, it's been awhile. I've been bad. I went on my Chicago trip a few weeks ago and it was awesome. I ate hot dogs and a chocolate cake shake. That was the best shake I have ever had in my life! I can only be happy that I no longer live in the greater Chicagoland area because I would ingest one daily if I did. Damn you, Portillo's. How did I live there for 24 years without ever knowing of the shake's existence!? Just thinking about it is making me foam at the mouth.

Okay, moving on (and trying not to think of its cakey chocolatey deliciousness), I got a new job at an Italian restaurant as a waitress. I really love it so far, but I haven't quit my other job so I have been working 13+ hour days this week. This meant a close proximity to fettuccine alfredo, lasagna and tiramisu with relatively no time to make it to the gym. I've been splitting my free meals with my boyfriend, which made me feel less guilty, bu tI definitely ate a bunch of bad stuff.

I finally made it back to the gym yesterday after 7 days and was pleased to find that I have lost 4 ounces since I last weighed in. It's not much, but at least I didn't gain any. And now, time to go for a run with my dog. If I can stop procrastinating that is...oooh look, Major League is on!

Mood: excited
Weight: 169

Owie.

My flabs hurt.

Mood: dead
Weight: 170

The downside...

None of my clothes freaking fit! My underwear, my bras, my shirts, everything is too big! I have a few of my older shirts from when I was thinner in college, but they're too small and everything I have been wearing on a regular basis is either too big or looks awful on me now.

I'd also like to know where the hell this rapid weight loss came from? I've been busting my ass for 8 months and all of a sudden I lose 3lbs. a week? So unfair. I'm hoping to hit my goal by Halloween this year. I have an awesome Lady Gaga costume planned, but I need to be able to fit in it (and wear it in public without people vomiting).

Mood: annoyed
Weight: 170

30 pounds!

I'm bringing sexy back!

30 lbs. down officially today! I can't believe it's taken me 8 months, but I'm so happy to have finally reached this goal! Only 27 lbs to go! I'm more than halfway there.

My next goal is to lose 10 more before I leave for my Chicago vacation on September 23rd. The last time my friends and family up there saw me, I was at 188. I'm excited to see everyone, but also really, really nervous about how much I am going to be eating there. Pizza, hot dogs, ballpark food...scary! At least I will be walking a lot. I hope. Maybe I should bring my workout stuff and try to go on an awesome run by the lake. >.> Okay, back to reality, I think the chances of that happening are slim to none.

Mood: ecstatic
Weight: 172

omg!

So, I was attempting to take one of those "look at how big my fat pants are on me now" pics for my blog. I thought I had grabbed my 16s from the pile of jeans on my shelf (I have sizes ranging from 8-16, but the 16s are going to be burned when I hit my target). As I was putting them on, I thought "Hey, these kinda fit, what happened?" Checking the tag, I realized I had just squeezed my ass into some 11/12s I used to wear when I was thinner. The best part is that they are almost loose on me. Size 10 here I come!

Woo Back to the Gym!

I finally got to work out! Ouch! I felt so out of shape even though it's only been 3 weeks since I was last there. My arms feel like Jell-o and my legs are killing me. It's like starting completely over. :(

On the plus side, I lost 4 lbs. over the 3 weeks I was off and my gym pants really don't fit me now. I'm pretty sure they started falling down while I was on the cross trainer and I kept trying to simultaneously pull them up and adjust my wedgie. That is much harder than it sounds! I had to time it just right so no one saw. >.>

I'm just 2 lbs. away from losing 30 total. That seems totally crazy to me. I've lost a large amount of weight before, but this time it just seems more real. I can see the change in myself and my confidence and it's pretty awesome. People are noticing me a lot more than before and I even got hit on by my barista at Starbucks. It's a really good feeling, having lost the equivalent of a small child. I can't WAIT to reach my goal even though it seems farther than ever.

Mood: Happy and sore
Weight: 174

Addicted

I almost snuck into the gym today. I can only go to work four hours at a time, per my doctor, and no gym time whatsoever. He told me I should be able to at least ride a bike by next week, but not to do any cardio machines or walk excessively this week. He did, however, say that swimming is just fine (the other doctor I saw two weeks ago told me the same, but it hurt too much to even consider then). In fact, he encouraged me to swim since it's such a good workout and would work my back muscles without putting any strain on the nerve. I have gone swimming several times in the last week, but I still miss the gym!

I had to go to Gamestop after work today to change a game reservation and the store is conveniently located right next door to Bally's. I sat in the parking lot for a good 10 minutes pondering just going in to weigh myself on my usual scale (I don't 100% trust my bathroom scale). Then I pondered going home and changing and going in to just ride a bike slowly. Then I wanted to just go in and tell them I'm alive even though they haven't seen me in almost three weeks. I hope they don't think I gave up! They probably haven't even noticed my absence, but my personal trainer was always asking about my progress. I guess I could have gone swimming there today, but part of the perk of having an outdoor pool in my apartment complex is the ability to get a tan while working out.

So now I have a funny tan and I'm convinced the gym employees think I'm dead.

Weight: 174
Mood: I wanna work outtttttt

Setback?

I've been in bed for a week. I hurt my back in an embarrassingly freak accident at work. I was loading a TV for a customer (something I do on a regular basis but this one was a little heavier than normal) and randomly pinched a nerve and strained my lower back muscles. First off, I'm very sad that my muscles betrayed me like that. I mean, I spent SO much time getting stronger and the first chance I get to show off, I end up on my back. Literally. So embarrassing. Second, I can almost FEEL my muscles atrophying. I know they're not, since I still have to walk to the bathroom and the kitchen and sit at my desk occasionally to do homework, but it feels like it. I can't work out for two weeks or so and it is TORTURE. I feel like I'm having withdrawals.

On the plus side, I have been forced to count every calorie and watch everything I am putting into my system. I have sworn off anything processed and diet soda and I am only drinking water now. This seems to have paid off because I have lost 4 lbs. 4! This is so unfair it isn't even funny. I have busted my ass working out and as soon as I take a week off, I shrink. My (new, smaller) pants are fitting so much looser and even my underwear is almost too big for me now. I sense a major shopping spree coming up as soon as I have some money. I can't believe that in three more pounds I have lost 30! That's a small child!

My 12 week lifting program is over and now it's time to work out a fat burning (while continuing to lift moderate weight) program for when I finally get back to the gym! I'm planning on working in a lot more cardio during the week with four days of lifting. I am apparently 23.8% bodyfat (or was a week ago before my bedrest started), which is low-ish, but my goal is around 15%.

Weight: 175
Mood: Bored and longing to go back to normal

I'm bringing sexy back

Not quite, but I totally feel like I've lost some weight. I compared my pics from 188, 181 and 179 pounds and I am happy to report that my ass no longer starts in the middle of my back and my gut no longer completely overlaps my pants. :)

Weight:179 (still, gained two back and lost them this week, I slacked a bit since I was working so much)
Mood: pleased

Dear scale

Dear scale,

How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways.
I loathe thee to the numerical display and kilograms and pounds
My soul can reach, when feeling overweight
For the ends of BMI and ideal weight.
I loathe thee to the level of every day's
Most fattening meal, by sun and candle-light.
I loathe thee freely, as women strive for size 5,
I loathe thee purely, as they turn to low carbs and Trim Spa.
I loathe thee with a passion put to use
In my old jeans, and with my childhood's candy.
I loathe thee with a hate I seemed to multiply.
With my lost pounds, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if I choose,
I shall but love thee better after 40 more pounds.

Pants Shopping

So like most larger girls, I absolutely hate shopping for clothes. Swimsuits are the worst, but pants come in at a close second. The jeans I have been wearing the past few months are literally falling off of me, so it was time to get some new ones. Luckily, the boy's parents gave me a Macy's gift card for my birthday so I had some money to spend!

The last time I went pants shopping was actually my inspiration for beginning the whole weight loss thing, so I was slightly dreading it. My boyfriend was with me and I promised him I would make it fast because apparently I took forever last time (I was holding back my tears from being in the plus size section!). I had to settle for 16s last time. They were a little big, but I couldn't squeeze my ass into 14s. It resulted in me being miserable and sulky for a few days until I decided to do something about it.

This time, I was able to shop in the normal section (yay!) and I picked out a few pairs in both 14s and 12s (I was hopeful!), but I knew I would probably have to settle for the larger size. I went into the fitting room and decided to get my hopes and dreams dashed right away. I pulled out the 12s, slid them on and...buttoned them. Easily. After doing a few victory fist pumps, I quickly put the others back and paid for my small jeans (and they were on sale woo!). I had a bit of money left over and my boyfriend suggested I get a shirt or something to go with it, but instead, I opted to save the remaining balance for a pair of 10s in a few months! Go me! :D

Weight: 179
Mood: freaking happy

Tales from the Gym

Okay so, I realize I have gotten a bit boring to read and I need to include some of the more interesting things that happen on this journey of mine. Well, rest assured what follows is awesome.

I was at the gym on Tuesday and saw something absolutely amazing. There I was, working on my cable curls (55lbs, thank you very much!) when I saw this guy straight out of 1985. He was wearing a neon green tank top, one of those old school ones that go down really low on the sides and are baggy; purple shiny shorts that were probably too short for today's standards; purpl e socks and purple and white Reeboks. He was also a dark orange hue and had an epic mullet. It was shaved on the sides and long on the top and the back. While normally the mullet would have been the crowning glory, the fact that he wore aviator sunglasses inside the entire time trumped the hairstyle this time.

So Mr. Footlose is on my left side while I'm lifting and he brings over two 25lb. dumbbells and procedes to do standing rows, grunting like an animal the entire time. Let me point out here that I do my rows with 25lbs. with relatively no issues. This guy is acting like he is lifting a car. I suppressed my laughed and continued with my lifting, trying to mind my own business. He then THROWS down the dumbbells and runs to an exercise ball he has stashed nearby and starts laying on it. Not doing crunches or anything productive, just kind of laying there. Once he is done doing whatever the hell that was, he sprints around the machine I am on and goes to my left side, doing weird little hops the whole time. The he jumped up and down a few times with jazz hands and ran back around me to the dumbbells. He repeated this about 5 times. I was trying my hardest not to laugh while I did my curls and tricep pulldowns. I'm pretty sure I almost hurt myself a few times because I was shaking and biting myself trying not to crack up.

Things like this are what make my gym experience so amazing. I think I need to start doing a weekly segment on strange things I see while working out, because there are a LOT of weirdos at the gym. There's also a guy that resembles the pro-wrestler I spent all of high school in love with and I have managed to embarrass myself in front of him a few times. That's a story for another day though. :)

Weight: 181
Mood: tired...is that a mood?

Soooooo slow

I feel like I am crawling towards the finish line some weeks! I'm still steadily losing, but I want it to just hurry up already! I know it takes time, losing weight fast in unhealthy, blah blah blah, but I'm getting impatient. I've been sticking to my diet for the most part during the week with no problem, but then the weekend rolls around and I stuff my face. I guess it's not as bad as I'm making it out to seem, but every time I eat white bread or drink a beer, I start thinking about sugar turning to fat. I think I might be insane. It's entirely likely. :)

I suppose I should give up alcohol, that's what seemed to do the trick for me last time, but it's so hard when all I look forward to on Friday nights is kicking back and having a few beers. I enjoy my one night a week where I can do that. This has me so distraught I am making run-on sentences! Gah! Having all you can eat tickets for the Rangers 4th of July game probably didn't help my case. I probably ate my weight in hot dogs (but I left out the bun!)and I'm having some residual guilt over it. I did work out extra hard today to make up for it.

A guy at work that's a workout junkie told me to stop doing heavy weights and stick to high reps, light weight. The workout plan I'm on pretty much dismisses that as a myth. On one hand, I feel like I have put on a ton of muscle and to an extent, that's a good thing. On the other hand, I do feel like it's halting my weight loss since muscle weighs so much more. I know the numbers on the scale don't mean much, it's all about how I look and feel but I feel like a cow still! Now I'm rambling! I think I'm just having a bad day. Maybe on Friday when I weigh myself I will feel better about everything.

Weight: 181
Mood: Blargh

20 lbs down!!1!!1one!1!

Woooooohoooooo!

The low carb thing is totally working. Love it. I even ate Chinese food (with brown rice) and a giant piece of chocolate cake last night on my cheat day. Low carb whole wheat wraps are a lifesaver, as are Greek salads and hummus.

Working out is going awesome. I slacked a little bit this week since I had a migraine Sunday night/ Monday morning and didn't want to push it too much, but I've been keeping up with my lifting. When I announced I was down 20lbs as of today to my personal trainer, he said I look totally different than when I started. I guess I should take some update pics at some point! :D

32 lbs to go!

Weight: 182
Mood: Ecstatic

Blog Award from Rachel (soon to be Mommy!)

Rachel gave me this award for obsessively commenting on her blog. I don't read many other blogs, so I will have to pass this on once I have the chance to read some more (which I have been planning to do for ages). So, thank you Mommy-to-be over at http://pointme2theskyabove.blogspot.com.


Now, like many of these awards, there are a few rules that go along with receiving it:

1. Thank person who nominated you.
2. Copy the award. Paste it in your blog.
3. Link to the person who gave me this award.
4. Answer the 10 questions that come with the award.
5. Nominate of few of your favorite bloggers for the award.

Here are the 10 questions to answer:



1. Why do you blog?
I guess I blog because I like sharing my experiences with others and it adds an extra boost of motivation to keep going. I hope to influence friends (and awesome strangers who read this too!) to be healthy and to reach their goals as well. It certainly isn't an easy task, but it makes me feel good and want to keep going when I can share my progress with others. I may be starting another blog for my animation and art soon, so I can motivate myself to work on that too. >.>

2. What are your 3 best memories?
Hmmm...

1. College at NIU. I had a lot of fun there and although there were a lot of rough patches (I had a lot of issues for part of it), looking back, I can remember the good over the bad. I loved living with Rachel and our apartment and all of our drunken adventures. I loved going out to random parties, not knowing where the night would lead us. I had a lot of fun at work as well, too bad it didn't translate into fun in classes or I might have my degree by now...

2. Lollapalooza VIP tickets. 'Nuff said, this was freaking awesome. All you can eat, all you can drink (bad idea), Flogging Molly and NiN.

3. Spending time with Sascha. She was my middle school/high school best friend and we have since fallen out of touch. I wish we could rekindle our friendship, but I have no idea how to get in touch with her now. We spent most of our time together in high school, wrestled together after and sort of drifted apart after a misunderstanding on my 21st birthday. We had some awesome times together (concerts, her summer cabin, our obsession with Sailor Moon) and I will never forget her!

3. If you had to change your real name what would you change it to?
Princess Consuela Banana-hammock

4. What are five things you can't live without?
1. My computer.
2. My dog.
3. Music
4. The internet.
5. Books

5. What are the 4 best books you've ever read?
1. The Harry Potter series. Uh-may-zing.
2. Memoirs of a Geisha. I freaking love it.
3. To Kill a Mockingbird. This is a pretty common one, but it is still perfectly written and I love the story.
4. Rachel's Holiday. This probably isn't going to make any lists of classic literature, but I loved it and at one point in my life, it really spoke to me.
5. Anne of Green Gables. I don't care that it's written for kids or really old or whatever. I will always love it.

6. Tell me something unique and interesting about yourself.
I used to be a professional wrestler, from the age of 17 until I got hurt at 22 and had to stop. I was a superhero character and it was a lot of fun, but some of the people in "the business" really suck and I am glad to be rid of them. Because of this, I used to be in really good shape, but gained weight after my injury, which is the whole reason for this blog.

7. What do you love best about yourself?
My uniqueness. I'm certainly one of a kind and nothing is ever dull in my life. I'm constantly getting into scrapes and accidents and having to work my way out, learning something about myself in the process. I sound like a horrible 19th century novel. I'm bold and not afraid to speak my mind and tend to get along with guys more than girls because girls are catty and bitchy. I'm really laid back and love hanging out with friends playing video games or watching TV.

8. What is the best movie ever made?
Ever made? Uh...I'm sure that varies depending on who you ask. Personally, I like most of the movies on the "100 Top Movies" list AMC released and I can't really pick one. In terms of a movie I can watch over and over again, any animated Disney or Pixar movie would top the list. In the artsy movie snob way, I would have to say that Citizen Kane is probably the best.

9. If you had a "freaky friday" experience who would you trade places with and why?
Johnny Depp so I could fondle myself.

10. What's the best part about being a woman?
Free drinks. I can't think of anything else.

Um...woo?

The rest of my vacation didn't go as well as the beginning, but I did as well as could be...in theory. I opted for salads for my meals, but I also drank a lot while I was there. On Wednesday night, I ended up going to downtown Chicago for the Blackhawks game and realized I hadn't had anything to eat all day and was already 2 beers in. I had macaroni and cheese at my favorite Irish pub (it was delicious, as always) and a lot of beer. It was light, at least! But then the Hawks won the Stanley Cup and my diet went out the window and I had even more beer and then some hot dogs from The Weiner's Circle (the name still makes me crack up). Thursday, I had some Chicago style pizza and dessert (amazing) at Lou Malnati's and then went out drinking...again. Friday I ate fairly healthy during the day and then drank again at night. Wow, I sound like I have a problem. I assure you, I am not an alcoholic, I just really enjoyed my vacation. Saturday was my brother's graduation party and I tried my first Italian beef sandwich (meh) and the only other option was fried chicken or mostacholi. I opted for the pasta and had a piece of cake. Other than that, I guess I wasn't so bad. I'm definitely not drinking for awhile, that's for sure.

I started back at the gym today and was shocked to see that I lost a pound since my last weigh on that scale, right before I left. The scale at my parents' house must have been a dream because I was nowhere near 177. So unless I somehow lost and then gained 8lbs (which I find highly unlikely despite the binge drinking), I weighed in at 185 on a full stomach. Yay! I decided to restart my four weeks of 6-8 reps with weights because I totally slacked with the lifting for the last two weeks. My arms hurt.

Weight: 185
Mood: hungry

Vacation

So I've been worried about my vacation totally throwing me off track, but so far I have been pretty good! I flew in on Friday and immediately had to have a sub from The Algonquin Sub Shop (omfg good). I ate the bread but it was delicious and I feel no guilt. I had half for lunch and half for dinner, so it wasn't too bad, but I secretly wanted to eat my brother's leftovers too. Last night, I had some beer but I stuck to light and ate a salad for dinner (I could have had mashed potatoes and stuffing...oh regrets) and half of a piece of cheesecake. That cheesecake was delicious and the size of my head, but I only ate half! Today I worked out when I woke up and ate a bowl of cereal. My mom and I got into it because she bought a bunch of crap I can't eat. I swear my family lives off of bacon, Reese's Pieces and pizza. For whatever reason, she didn't ask me what I wanted and bought stuff for Sloppy Joes and spaghetti...two things I wouldn't eat even if I wasn't dieting. How long does someone have to be a mother before she knows her daughter's likes and dislikes? They don't even have olive oil, so I can't make chicken unless I want to fry it in vegetable oil. Gross. I guess it's Raisin Bran for me for the week. Good thing I'm spending a lot of time away from here. >.> I forgot to mention the freezer full of ice cream. I'll be pretending it doesn't exist.

Also, I haven't weighted myself in awhile at the gym, but according to the scale here, I am down to 177. I'll take it for now, but I think it's a bit off. My pants are also way too big for me now and keep falling down.

Mood: annoyed and hungry
Weight: 177?

Workout Music

I'm in dire need of some workout music. Now, I normally pride myself on my excellent taste in music, but when I work out, I like some crappy stuff. Generally, I listen to rock, but I enjoy a lot of pop and r&b when I'm on a treadmill or cross trainer. I'm starting to get bored with what I have on my iPod and boredom = laziness and shaving minutes off my cardio.

Here is my current list (Don't judge me! Stop looking at me like that!):
Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend
Basement Jaxx- Good Luck
Basshunter- Boten Anna, Vi Sitter i Ventrillo, Tetris
Beck - Loser, Mixed Bizness
Billy Joel- It's Still Rock 'n Roll to Me, Uptown Girl, The Longest Time
Blind Melon- No Rain
Blink 182- Online Songs, The Rock Show, What's My Age Again
Blue Oyster Cult - Godzilla
Bon Jovi- Livin' on a Prayer, Wanted Dead or Alive, You Give Love a Bad Name
Bowling for Soup - 1985
Britney Spears- Womanizer, Circus, Toxic
Chevelle- Jars, Vitamin R
Christina Aguilera- Ain't No Other Man
Darude - Sandstorm
Daft Punk- Stronger, Harder, Faster, One More Time
David Bowie- Suffragete City, Ziggy Stardust
Destiny's Child - Survivor, Jumpin' Jumpin'
Dropkick Murphys- Shippin' Up to Boston
Drowning Pool- Bodies
Elton John- Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting, Rocket Man, Bennie and the Jets
Eve 6- Beautiful Oblivion
Fallout Boy- Sugar We're Going Down, Dance Dance
Fatboy Slim- The Rockefeller Skank, Brimful of Asha
Flo Rida- Right Round, Get Low (it hurts me to type that as much as it hurts you to see it)
Foo Fighters- All My Life, Learn to Fly, Monkeywrench
Garbage- I Think I'm Paranoid, When I Grow Up
Goldfinger - Mable
Green Day- Pulling Teeth, Pop Rocks and Coke, Minority, Basket Case, When I Come Around
The Hives- Main Offense, Hate to Say I Told You So
Hole- Celebrity Skin
Incubus- Megalomaniac
Jamiroquai- Canned Heat
Justin Timberlake- My Love (Oakenfold remix), Sexy Back
Katy Perry- I Kissed a Girl, Hot n Cold
Ke$ha- Tik Tok, Your Love is My Drug (I SAID DON'T JUDGE ME)
Lady Gaga- Just Dance, Telephone, Poker Face, Bad Romance
Linkin Park- Papercut, Forgotten, Faint, Nobody's Listening, Given Up
Lucky Boys Confusion- Hey Driver, Atari
Michael Jackson- Thriller, Beat It, Billie Jean
Mika- Grace Kelly, Lollipop, Love Today, Big Girl, Ring Ring, Good Gone Girl, Touches You
Mudvayne- Dig, Fucking Determined, Happy
Muse- every song atm since I just got the albums and wanted to listen to them all before I choose which ones can stay
Nightwish- Amaranth, Over the Hills
NiN- The Hand That Feeds, Only, Head Like a Hole, Terrible Lie, Down in It, Sanctified, Something I can Never Have, Kinda I Want To, Sin, That's What I Get, The Beginning of the End, Survivalism
No Doubt- Bathwater, Just a Girl
OK Go- Here it Goes Again (listen to this on a treadmill after watching the video, I dare you.)
Orianthi- According to You
Pink- So What, Stupid Girls, U and Ur Hand (the spelling, it burns)
Powerman 5000- When Worlds Collide, Nobody's Real, Action
Queen- Bohemian Rhapsody, Another One Bites the Dust, Killer Queen, Fat Bottomed Girls, Don't Stop Me Now, Crazy Little Thing Called Love, Somebody to Love, Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy, Bicycle Race
Rhianna and Maroon 5- If I Never See Your Face Again
Static X- This is Not, Push It, I'm With Stupid
Stone Temple Pilots- Unglued, Sex Type Thing, Days of the Week
Sum 41 - Fat Lip, Motivation
Taio Cruz - Break Your Heart
The Killers- Mr. Brightside, Somebody Told Me
The Lonely Island- Jizz in My Pants, I'm on a Boat, Like a Boss
Timbaland- Release, Throw It On Me, One & Only, 2 Man Show
Trapt- Headstrong
Usher- Caught Up
various Disney songs >.>
Vanilla Ice- Ice Ice Baby (yes, you just read that)
Zebrahead- Rescue Me, Hello Tomorrow, Into You, Playmate of the Year, Now or Never, Go, Subtract You



Please please please give me some more music! As you can tell, I have no dignity when it comes to shameless poppy crap, as long as it has a good beat. I feel like such an old lady saying that...

Go Cubs, Go (and Jeny)

So, I figured I would be taking a few days off from the gym when my friends Shannon and Matt came to town. We had tickets to three Cubs vs. Rangers games and I assumed I would be eating stadium food and drinking large amounts of beer. I surprised myself by actually drinking mainly Michelob Ultra and choosing salads over anything else. I somehow manged to watch my carbs and my calories and still enjoy the games! I'll be honest, I snuck a few fries from Matt's chicken fingers basket, but on the whole I was good!

I resumed my workouts on Tuesday (I took 4 days off, bad!) and things went well. I am at the point in my weight lifting routine where I need to be doing heavier weight and only 6-8 reps. I hurt everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Places that don't even have names. Today is just a cardio day, so I am going to run a bit on the treadmill in my tiny apartment gym later tonight. After my WoW raid that is...

I ended up losing about a pound in the last week, which I guess is okay considering that I have been putting on a ton of muscle. I now fit into my larger size 12 pants and am SOOOO close to my smaller ones! I am going to Chicago next week, so I hope to be a little smaller (and a little tanner, time to hit the pool tomorrow) by then.

Mood: happy and hungry
Weight: 186

Good choices!

I am very proud of myself this week! I decided to do a low carb/low calorie diet for three weeks until I go on vacation. I would like to drop few more inches (if I can!) before then, so I have been watching what I am eating even more than normal. I have worked out every day (aside from my one rest day, my other rest day, I cheated and did cardio) and have been pushing myself harder with cardio and lifting. I started running on the treadmill, alternating running 2 minutes and walking 2. I am trying to stick to the "Couch to 5k Running Plan" (http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml) to be able to do a 5k by the end of the year.

I went out drinking last night and instead of ordering the usual greasy bar food, I ended up ordering grilled chicken and veggies. I also drank nothing but Michelob Ultra (bleh). Tonight, I went to dinner with the boy and his parents. We do this every week and I normally reserve it as my cheat day and order whatever I want. Instead, I had a steak and veggies with a salad this time. I really, really wanted that burger with extra cheese, but I feel much better about the choices I made! I already feel like I have more energy and I am less reliant on caffeine and sugar for my daily fix.

I still haven't lost any weight, but my clothes are way too big on me now and getting looser. I started this journey as a snug size 16 and I am currently a loose 14 and ALMOST a 12. I am so close, I know I can do it in the next few months! My goal is to end up at about a size 8 and I know I can totally do it by the end of the year, if not sooner.

Weight: 187 (who cares what the scales say!?)
Mood: happy and feeling healthy

Pictures!

I was very happy that I not only fit into my khakis again, but I can see results in my pictures!

Here is my before, taken at 193 lbs (I didn't take any when I first started at 202, I wish I had)

Here is me after 3 weeks of heavy weight training and cardio at 187lbs.



Don't mind my bathroom mirror...and the blurry pics, I'm bad at taking pics of myself in the mirror.

15 lbs and one pants size down!

Woo! :D

I officially have dropped a pants size and I can not longer be considered "plus size". I celebrated by eating a small slice of pizza and going to the gym. While there, I was approached by a gym employee who told me I look like I am doing awesome and they admire my dedication! I also talked to my personal trainer a bit (I'm not doing sessions with him anymore unless I fall into a pile of money) and he said he can tell I'm working hard. He told me not to expect to drop a lot of pounds, but to focus on my size instead, since I am doing a lot of lifting now. Since my old jeans fit, I am content for the day. :)

Weight: 187
Mood: happy

Oops, forgot to post for awhile!

So...it's been awhile! I have continued to work out 5-6 days a week, despite forgetting to keep up with my journal. The weight loss seems to have come to a crawl, BUT that's okay. I started a new lifting plan and I can feel that I am building a ton of new muscle. This of course weighs more than fat, so the numbers on the scale aren't going to be going down super fast. My pants officially don't fit, so it's almost time to go shopping for a smaller size. I'm finally at the point where people are asking me if I am losing weight! Yay!

The training plan involves four days of lifting and I have been doing one to two days of cardio in addition. I'm trying to do an hour on those days, but I get bored and my iPod is lame and I can't figure out how to work iTunes. But, I digress. Here is the link to what I have been doing, I am currently about to begin week three of the first four weeks. I have actually increased by strength by a lot in the first two weeks, I can't wait to see what happens this week! http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/womans_lean_sexy_bible.htm

Weight: 187
Mood: Sore, but ready for more

Slightly off track..

Ugh this weekend was horrible ( in terms of my diet/ workout plan). I ate some bad stuff and only made it to the gym once in 4 days. I did take my dog for two very long walks, but that doesn't really count imo.

I now have the flu, so it's going to be a few days before I can get back into the gym! I guess if there is a plus side, it's that I'm not gaining weight? I guess it's not so great to look at it like that. I just hate that my progress was slowed!

Weight: 190
Mood: Bleh

Another One Bites the Dust

Another pound down! I can't keep up with my calorie intake vs. my cardio at the moment. I ate like a pig and still lost weight!

I'm finding that I hit the "wall" at about 7 minutes of cardio and I don't want to keep going, but once I get past that, it's smooth sailing. I set a goal of 45 minutes today and ended up doing an hour on the cross trainer. It's getting easier and easier to keep going...aside from the boredom. Video iPod anyone?

And seriously, the pants are falling off. I want to go buy some new ones, but I know I'll need a new pair in a month or so. I guess for now, it's a belt or yoga pants with a drawstring.

I have a PT session tomorrow at 5, which I am not looking forward to. :p

Weight: 191
Mood: Happy, sore, ready for bed

Push it to the limit....

I've dropped 10 lbs so far! I am only weighing myself once every two weeks from now on, since I am more focused on size vs. weight. I'm gaining a lot of muscle right now, so my actual number won't be going down significantly. My pants are officially too small for me and some of my shirts look pretty loose, which is good.

After a week off from personal training (my PT went on spring break), I think I'm doing pretty well on my own. I upped my cardio to 45 minutes for the next 2-3 weeks and then I'm going up to an hour. I can tell I'm in MUCH better shape than I was when I started.

I've set a goal for myself of running a 5k this summer (and then frequently after, as often as I can afford to) and a half marathon by next year. Since a 5k is only 3.1 miles, it works out to be about 30-40 minutes of running. I guess it's an excuse to buy new running shoes and clothes. >.> A good friend of mine has been really focusing on weight loss, diet and exercise lately as well, so we plan to work towards these goals together. As soon as she moves back to Dallas, we will be doing yoga and running on a regular basis.

My main problem now (aside from my pants falling off at work), is that cardio is really, really boring. My iPod is about 300 years old and doesn't do anything but play music. I want to upgrade to a newer model, probably a 5th gen Nano with video capability. I figure I can watch episodes of Dexter or True Blood while on the crosstrainer to keep myself from falling asleep, hurting myself or quitting early from boredom. However, I'm broke. I have a phone with video, but it only supports mp4 and I don't have any conversion software for my avis.

I'm also looking for some crappy pop music with a lot of energy to keep me going. I admit, I hate that type of music normally, but anything upbeat and easy to dance to makes me move faster. I downloaded some stuff I would be ashamed of if anyone found it on my iPod this week. I'm looking at you, Ke$ha.

Weight: 192
Mood: Happy

:)

Eight Pounds Down!

I've lost 8lbs so far! It has now been exactly a month and I have been doing pretty good. My clothes are looser and I have almost gone down a pants size. My last weigh in was 194, but I have a sneaking suspicion I have lost more fat, but replaced it with muscle. I have been eating fairly healthy (I cheat on Saturdays when I eat out with the boyfriend's parents and I have three beers a week) and have a new job that requires me to be on my feet for about 8 hours a day.

I finally broke down and hired a personal trainer. The boy and I decided to share 16 sessions between the two of us, since it was the cheapest option. He has been getting a lot more muscular and is losing weight faster, which is totally unfair, but I digress. My first training session was on Monday, although it was the same PT I worked with when I had my free session. The first time was just an evaluation and coming up with a diet and workout plan for me. Basically, I need to work on my gimpy leg (my TI band is tight and causes my foot and knee to turn out) and strengthen my core. My diet consists of a flax seed shake for breakfast (doesn't taste nearly as bad as it sounds), a Special K bar for a snack, a Healthy Choice meal for lunch or Subway (since I have to eat at work), a cheese stick for a snack, a low carb dinner and then a sugar free dessert (I like sugar free, fat free Jello Pudding). I also have a Nectar (bleh) protein shake after working out. As I said earlier, I cheat on Saturdays and can have 3 beers a week, or liquor with Diet Coke or red wine in moderation.

My training session on Monday consisted of 30 minutes of cardio, followed by stretching my gimp leg, step ups with weights into a shoulder press, walking up and down the stairs while doing shoulder presses with free weights (15 times in total, up and down the stairs counting as 1). In between those sets, I did squats with 25lbs and then finished with lunges across the gym. It hurt. On non training days, I typically do 30 minutes of cardio followed by fast lifting (always keeping the heart rate up) and then 10-15 more minutes or cardio. The last few weeks, I have been starting on a crosstrainer and ending on an elliptical, but that will be switched up next week.

All in all, it has been tiring, but I love seeing progress!

Weight: 194
Mood: Tired, cranky, hungry, dreading stairs tomorrow.

First Week Done! Huzzah!

So after a week of busting my ass at work, I was let go. No idea why, aside from the fact that I didn't kiss enough ass. I was early every day, worked harder than anyone else and faster than anyone else and even stayed late when they were swamped to help out. But alas, they "overhired" and apparently I was first in line to go. So, I will no longer be spending 8 hours walking and lifting. On the plus side, that leaves more room for the gym until I find a new job.

I went to the gym four days this week (I skipped a day because I apparently pulled a groin muscle or something and couldn't walk after work. Also, pulling a groin muscle feels like you had sex for ten hours without the benefit of actually having sex for 10 hours.) Each day, I spent at least 20 minutes on an elliptical and then worked on either legs or arms and abs every day. I feel like my core has tightened quite a bit, which is muy bueno (sp?). I also had a personal training session and he said my leg is gimpy, so we spent an hour showing me things to do to correct it. Since he wasted an hour on my gimpiness, he said I can have another session next week. Score! At the end of the week, I lost 2lbs! 60 to go!

Weight: 200
Mood: Tired, but hopeful

An Introduction

Like a lot of girls, I have always struggled with my weight. Initially, I don't think I was even fat, my mom just liked to put bad ideas in my head. Since about age 10, it has been a constant roller coaster ride. I have been fat, I have been scarily thin, I have been chubby, I have been in amazing shape. Now, I find myself at the point where I just want to be healthy and able to wear cute clothes without feeling like a hefer. I am 25 years old and today I weighed in at a whopping 202lbs. Now, I can start subtracting pounds for clothes, shoes, pee, pre-menstrual boating, etc, but I'd rather just end with an even 202 lbs. That is what the scale said and the guy at the gym told me scales don't lie! My new goal is to hit 140lbs and remain around there for the rest of my life. I don't want to be a lingerie model, I just want to be healthy and confident.

This blog will be used to track my progress and hopefully to maybe inspire other girls to get healthy and live an active life. I know I can do it, but it won't be an easy road. There will be a lot of crying (particularly when I am craving Taco Bell), probably a lot of yelling at my boyfriend, a lot of gulping down protein shakes before I can taste them and generally wanting to give up. I am hoping by keeping a blog, I am going to be more motivated and more excited when I start seeing results.

Weight: 202
Mood: Optimistic